How To ‘Shift‘ Your Emotions at Home
“A person will be just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
— Abraham Lincoln
Parenting is a wild mix of joy, frustration, love, and exhaustion—all within the same hour.
One moment, you’re basking in the sweet hug of your child; the next, you’re trying to keep your cool while they melt down over the color of their cup. (Seriously, why does it matter so much?)
If you’ve ever found yourself losing patience, raising your voice, or feeling like you’re stuck in an endless cycle of power struggles, you’re not alone. Parenting is hard, and our emotions often get tangled up in the daily chaos.
But what if you could shift your emotions in those tough moments? Not by ignoring your feelings (because, let’s be real, that never works), but by learning how to respond instead of react—in a way that supports both you and your child.
This is where Positive Discipline comes in. It's not about being a "perfect" parent (spoiler: no one is). It's about shifting how we handle our emotions so we can teach our kids to do the same.
Have you ever noticed how kids seem to have a radar for your mood? If you’re stressed, they feel it. If you’re frustrated, they react to it. And if you’re calm? They pick up on that too.
Children learn emotional regulation by watching us. If we meet their big emotions with frustration, they learn that emotions are overwhelming and uncontrollable. But if we show them how to shift from frustration to problem-solving, they develop the tools to do the same.
The good news? You don’t have to be a saint of patience. You just need a few strategies to help shift your emotions in the moment—so you can guide theirs.
5 (Quick) Q-Tips to Shift Your Emotions
When emotions run high, our first instinct is often to react instantly. But taking a pause (even for a few seconds) can be a game-changer.
Instead of snapping, take a deep breath. Count to five. Sip some water. Walk into another room if needed.
That tiny pause creates space between the trigger and your response—giving you a chance to choose how you want to handle the situation.
🔹 Example: Your child refuses to put on their shoes, and you’re already late. Instead of yelling, pause. Take a breath. Then, calmly say, “I see you don’t want to wear your shoes. We need to leave now. Would you like to put them on yourself or have me help?”
2. Shift from Control to Connection
When kids push our buttons, it’s easy to slip into control mode—demanding obedience or shutting down their emotions. But kids don’t need more control, they need connection.
Instead of thinking, How do I make them stop? ask yourself, How can I connect with them first?
🔹 Example: Your child is throwing a tantrum over screen time. Instead of saying, “Stop crying! I said no!” try, “I know it’s hard when screen time is over. You really wanted more. Let’s find something fun to do together.”
This doesn’t mean giving in—it means acknowledging their feelings while holding firm to boundaries.
3. Use Kindness and Firmness Together
Many parents feel stuck between being too strict or too lenient. But Positive Discipline teaches that you can be both kind and firm at the same time.
Being kind shows empathy and respect.
Being firm maintains clear boundaries.
🔹 Example: If bedtime is a battle, instead of saying “Go to bed NOW or else!” or “Okay, five more minutes… and another five…”, try:
“I know you wish you could stay up longer. It’s bedtime now. Do you want to pick out the bedtime story tonight or should I?”
This keeps the boundary firm but invites cooperation instead of conflict.
4. Shift Your Perspective on “Bad” Behavior
A lot of challenging behavior isn’t defiance—it’s a child communicating a need.
🔹 A tantrum? It’s not manipulation—it’s emotional overwhelm.
🔹 Talking back? It’s not disrespect—it’s a need for autonomy.
🔹 Whining? It’s not just annoying—it’s a sign they need connection.
When we shift how we see behavior, we stop taking it personally and start responding with understanding instead of anger.
Want your child to handle frustration better? Show them how it’s done.
Instead of: “Ugh! I can’t deal with this right now!”
Try: “I’m feeling frustrated. I need to take a deep breath before we talk about this.”
Instead of: “Stop yelling!”
Try: “I hear that you’re upset. Let’s use a calmer voice so I can understand what you need.”
Your child is always watching. Teach through example.
When you shift your emotions as a parent, you’re not just making life easier in the moment—you’re teaching your child lifelong skills for handling frustration, disappointment, and conflict.
They learn how to pause before reacting.
They feel safe expressing their emotions without fear of punishment.
They understand that boundaries can exist alongside kindness.
Parenting will always have its challenges. But when we learn to shift how we handle emotions, we create a home where both parents and kids feel respected, understood, and connected.
So next time your patience is running thin, remember: you have the power to shift. And when you do, you’re teaching your child that they can, too. ❤️
P.S. Stay tuned—next week, we’re diving into practical strategies for emotional shifts. Plus, we’ve got a FREEBIE just for you: How to NOT Lose Your Cool.
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