Guiding Kids in a Divided World
“If your heart acquires strength, you will be able to remove blemishes from others without thinking evil of them.”
— Mohandas K. Gandhi
As Election Day approaches and the excitement (and tension) is in the air, it’s inevitable that our kids notice the buzz.
This year, my daughter has been picking up on the way we talk about it at home, and let’s just say she’s formed some pretty strong opinions of her own. The other day, she made a comment about (fill in the blank) “ supporters”— probably a reflection of things she’s heard from me and her dad—and it made me stop in my tracks.
We all want to raise kids who think critically and care deeply about the world around them. But it’s a delicate line, isn’t it?
We want to be honest about our values, but we also want to raise our kids to be compassionate, respectful, and open-minded. So when she asked why we don’t agree with certain political figures, it led us down a path of talking not just about beliefs, but about values and how we can still love and respect people who think differently.
As I started explaining things to her, I realized that a big part of these conversations is helping our kids understand the difference between beliefs and values.
Beliefs are ideas we hold to be true, shaped by experiences, background, and even upbringing. People hold different beliefs for many reasons, and they’re often very personal.
Values on the other hand, tend to be core to who we are as people—things like fairness, kindness, honesty, and integrity. They’re the principles we rely on to guide our actions and decisions in life.
In other words, beliefs can vary and change, but values are often more deeply rooted in what we see as good or right. This was a good jumping-off point to explain why some people might hold different beliefs yet still share many of the same values.
One thing I emphasized with my daughter was the idea that people are complex, and their beliefs don’t always define their character or their worth as people. We may disagree with someone’s political opinions (or any other opinion for that matter), but that doesn’t mean they’re inherently “bad.”
I reminded her that it’s okay to feel strongly about our values and beliefs, and it’s also essential to treat others with dignity, kindness, and respect, even when we disagree. After all, we want others to respect our views, too, right?
So, I explained to her that while we might not agree with everyone’s beliefs, we can still try to look for the values we share. And in moments when that’s hard, it’s okay to set boundaries with people while still treating them kindly.
Of course, there are times when the gap between beliefs and values is too big to ignore. Some values are so fundamental to us that it can be tough—or even feel impossible—to connect with someone who doesn’t share them.
In these cases, it’s important to explain to kids that it’s okay to stand firm on the values that mean the most to us. It’s okay to say, “I don’t agree with what this person stands for because it doesn’t align with our core values of kindness and fairness.”
This doesn’t mean we wish harm on anyone, it just means we know what’s important to us, and that’s something we don’t have to compromise on.
In a world where things are often painted in black and white, helping kids see the shades of gray can be a challenge. Kids may wonder why we might disagree with someone’s beliefs yet still believe in treating them kindly.
To summarise, here’s how I approached it with my daughter:
Be Clear on the Why: I explained that we believe in kindness, even toward those with whom we disagree, because that’s what makes the world a better place. Kindness doesn’t mean we have to agree, but it does mean we try to see the humanity in others.
Empower Kids to Ask Questions: It’s okay if they don’t understand everything. Sometimes, just asking questions opens up more important conversations, allowing them to see that some topics are complex, and that’s okay.
Reinforce Core Values: I reminded her that no matter who we’re talking about or what we’re discussing, our family values—kindness, fairness, integrity, and respect—are the compass we rely on.
Talking with my daughter also reminded me that little ears are always listening. It’s made me more mindful of the way I express my own views around her, aiming to model thoughtful conversation rather than harsh judgment.
After our chat, I felt a mix of pride and relief. While it’s not always easy, helping her understand that the world is full of diverse ideas, beliefs, and values is something I hope will make her more thoughtful and empathetic. At the end of the day, that’s what matters most to me: raising a good human who can be kind in a world where kindness isn’t always easy.
These conversations may not always be perfect, but each one feels like a small step toward raising kids who know their values, respect others, and, most importantly, learn to see beyond the surface.
It’s a big task for us as parents, but knowing that our words and actions can help shape a more compassionate next generation? That’s something worth the effort.
